Did your parents really want a boy?

 

   My parents did not name me ED. I had my name legally changed one day on a whim - went to court and everything. People tried to talk me out of it, but I was wearing ED blinders and it really seemed like a good idea at the time.

Why did you change your name?

1) I have always signed my artwork with my initials ED.
2) It seemed unfair to give up my identity just to get married and have a name that sounded like a vacuum cleaner.
3) I think girls with boys names are extra tough. Nobody messes with a girl named ED.
4) I like surprises. Surprise, I’m a girl is always a good one!
5) It seemed easy to remember, spell, and pronounce.
6) There are a lot more reasons, but they make me sound insane.

What is your real name?

 

   This is the first thing people ask me and it’s a hard one to answer. My legal name is actually ED HOSE; my given name is a truly beautiful name, and every time I tell people they are like…"OHHH, that’s such a beautiful name. Why on earth did you change it?" and they say it with such heartache and disdain that I feel terrible and question myself. Funny how people can influence so easily. If they say, "OH, I love your name!" I am like, "Right on, I rock!" But that doesn’t happen much. It’s no secret however and you are welcome to call up my Father who refuses to call me ED and ask him about it. 

Do you regret changing your name to ED? 

   For the most part I believe in the interconnectivity of all things. I was so certain that changing my name was the way to go that I can only assume it is for good reason and I try to stand behind that.

 

Does it complicate matters? Yes all of them.
Is it super strange and sometimes embarrassing? Sometimes. Will some guy ever get my name tattooed on his arm? I guess it depends on the guy...if you know what I mean.

 

   I do regret any pain or disappointment this may have caused my parents. Now that I have children of my own, I can imagine how sad I would be if my son Ogden Zydeco or Kosmo LaRue decided to up and change their name and I wonder if my motive was somehow a bit passive aggressive? But in all honesty, self- obsessed as I am, I was not at all conscious of anyone else's feelings at the time.

 

   Also in retrospect, if I were going to change my first name to better suit my last name, I could have changed it to anything. Existential Hose? Still Water Reflecting Hose? Pimpen Hose?

 

 

Are you aware that ED, is the common abbreviation for both Erectile Dysfunction and Eating Disorders?

 

   Yes. I have been made aware of that.

Speaking of tattoos, do you have any?

   Yes and they are further evidence that I should maybe not be left alone without a chaperone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     

 

Did you draw that by hand?

Yes. But I don't know what that means, like what would the alternative be? I think about that a lot. Even if I used a robot, I would still be controlling the robot with my hand? Also people only ask me this when they walk up to me while I am drawing with the pen in my hand. I ALWAYS want to respond with a snarky answer like "My nostrils leaked the ink like this" or "No I drew it with my mind!" And then I would wave my fingers at it and lasers would shoot outta my eyes and the paper would combust into flames...but instead I just smile. I really love company and I really love strangers, but this question always makes me go "huh?" on the inside.

 Will you draw my tattoo?

Yes! 

For free?

No...unless, read Exceptions to the Rules.

Can you do a watercolor of my house?

Yes. But it wouldn't be pretty. It might make you dry heave. I did go to art school and I enjoy working in a variety of mediums, but I primarily work in the pen and ink/digital style you see in my other drawings. That is my style. I know a ton of AMAZING artists. If you are looking for a different style or type of painting, I would love to introduce you to one of my colleagues.

You're an artist. Will you make my yard sale sign?

I love you.